Serious, Funny & a Story by Yours Truly

Serious

I’m sitting at a cafe in the heart of Seattle, the last few days have been an awesome adventure traveling with fellow bloggers & entrepreneurs Andi & Collin. As I sit here I just think Wow, I could never, ever go back to a 9 to 5 because the freedom and happiness I get from doing what I am doing is overwhelming at times.

This is a feeling I want each and everyone of you to have, hopefully sooner than later. If you get amazing amounts of fulfillment from your 9 to 5 job than that is great – and you’ve already arrived. But if you are still doing something you don’t wake up loving – you need to take a serious look at your life and think Is this really how I want to be spending hours I will never get back. Just remember, our time on this Earth is limited… every day, every hour and every minute is precious.

Funny

As I was writing this a guy came up to me and started talking, the ONLY way I can describe the situation that ensued is through this amazing Mad TV video below… he even commented on my up-do.

Story Time!!

I was talking to Collin on the drive out to Seattle about my writing and how much of what I write goes unpublished and saved in my own ‘vaults’. I write a TON of fiction – often sci-fi – usually funny, sometimes morose, but it is what drives me. Because this is a whacky, all over the place post I decided to finish up with a short story I wrote a while ago. You may like it, you may hate it but it is liberating to have a place where I can post it so deal with it, my lovelies.

THE LAST DAY

“He’s been coming in here and ordering the exact same breakfast for two years now”, the manager at Muffin Land, a breakfast chain in downtown Chicago, told his new trainee. The eager young girl titled her head to the left and tried to act as interested as possible in her boss’ story.

“He always orders the exact same thing,” the manager tapped a pen to his lip and stared at the man as his food was delivered, “and do you know what that thing is Darlene?”

The girl was a Sophomore at Stanford and like many of the college educated young nowadays she inwardly sighed at the ignorance of her older – and in her mind less intelligent – boss. How was she supposed to know what he ordered, the girl thought, someday I’ll own a place like this and there will be a litmus test to weed out the ignorant and the storytellers. But she smiled and instead asked with all the cheer she could muster what it was the man always ordered.

“A BLT,” her boss paused a long time, waiting for her surprise to kick in. It didn’t so he went on. “A BLT for breakfast, with an ice tea and he always buys a paper which he skims while he eats.”

“Why don’t you ask him why he has such a rigid regimen?” the girl asked, proud at the chance to show off her ivy league vocabulary.

“Well dear that would be rude,” said the manager, “we here at Muffin Land pride ourselves in customer service and food quality, not in our ability to nose around in our patron’s business.”

The manager chuckled hardily and led the young girl to the smoothie counter to teach her the art of adding bananas and strawberries to a drink. He glanced up once more as the door chime rung denoting that his loyal customer had just left the building.

“And you know what he always says when he finishes ordering?” the manager couldn’t help but add just one more thing.

“What?” the girl asked with a phony smile that she hoped was convincing.

“He says, isn’t a great day to be alive.”

“Gee, weird…” the girl could tell this was going to be a long day.

Jacob Bean had just began his daily routine as he walked over to the park to give some money to the old homeless man called Brew. Jacob had always wondered if Brew was actually the man’s name or a nickname that hinted at the reason he was homeless.

“Great day to be alive Brew,” Jacob said with a broad smile.

The old man nodded and grinned a gummy smile at Jacob.

“Be sure to make the most of the days you have left on this wonderful Earth!” Jacob hollered as he strolled towards home to make his calls.

Jacob arrived at his parent’s home, where he had resided since he quit his job, and immediately went on a search for his mother. After day one of his routine, which had started almost two years ago, Jacob had quit his job as a trial lawyer and given up his lease at in a posh loft so he could move home and focus on living his life to the fullest.

Jacob found his mother in the garden pruning the rose bushes. He went up behind her and gave her a great big hug like he did every morning. A tear even came to his cheek and for the next half an hour he regaled his mother with every memorable childhood event he could think of and thanked her for what a wonderful parent she had been.

His mother sighed a little and then reminded herself how lucky she was to have a child who loved her so, even if after the seven hundred and fourteenth time it got a little wearing. She kissed him on the cheek and told him to go enjoy the rest of his day.

“I will ma,” Jacob said tears coming to his eyes, “I love you so much.”

Jacob then went inside to the living room and got on the telephone. He took out his worn address book and proceeded to call every person of significance in his life. A lot less answered now than had answered a year and a half ago or even six months ago but he left messages with everyone regardless. Even his great-aunt Mel hadn’t picked up, which was odd because she used to love that Jacob called her every day. She lived alone and had practically no contact with the outside world yet still it seemed as if even she was dodging his attempts at contact.

Jacob hoped she was somewhere in the house and couldn’t hear the phone then he left her a loving message. He said in it that he’d be meeting up with her in the sky soon, like he said in every message he left her. Jacob hoped the old lady wouldn’t take it wrong but she was ninety two years old, she couldn’t go on living forever. Plus he always thought that it should make her happy to think of spending the rest of eternity with her great nephew to keep her company.

An hour and forty minutes passed before Jacob reached the last and most important phone call, the love of his life, his everything, Addison. He always waited to call her last and always practiced before hand what words he would say. The phone rang once and then a second time, she picked up. Which was fortunate because lately she had been letting it ring through to voice mail.

“Addison,” Jacob said tentatively, “It’s me Jacob Bean.”

There was a heavy sigh from the other end of the phone and Addison cleared her throat.

“Jacob I’m waiting for a phone call I need to let you go,” she said stiffly.

“But Addison I have something to tell you, something that can’t wait…” he began to blurt out.

“Jacob, just stop. I know exactly what you are going to say. You love me, you never got the chance to tell me. You want to spend your last day on earth in my arms, for heaven’s sake I know Jacob” and then Addison hung up.

Jacob sat there stunned but he didn’t let it phase him, he had to see her.

He dialed again three times and each time no one picked up. But on the fourth try, success.

“Jacob I swear I actually have an important call coming through,” Addison said.

“Okay fine, promise you’ll meet me. This may be the last time you ever see me alive.”

As if she should be so lucky, thought Addison.

“Okay Jacob, I’m going to grab a quick bite to eat at Bruno’s you can meet me there for a minute but I swear if you so much as touch me I will zap you with my taser.”

Jacob waited for a moment.

“Could we make it Sushi Somo? Sushi is my favorite food and I want to eat it one more time.”

“NO!” Addison practically screamed and again the receiver went click.

Jacob wasted no time contemplating what had just happened and instead found his mother, gave her another tearful hug and made his way quickly to the subway. He was at the downtown zoo at no time and enjoyed a large soda, a bag of popcorn and a massive pink cotton candy as he wandered around looking at his favorite animals.

Jacob pulled out the small notebook he kept that dialogued every day’s events since he had made his discovery, as he made his way towards Bruno’s. On the first page a worn and weathered scrap of paper that had once been a fortune cookie  was taped down. It read:

LIVE EACH DAY AS IF IT WERE YOUR LAST.

Jacob tucked the notebook back into his backpack and smiled, then out of the corner of his eye he saw something… then everything went white.