My List of Small Business Ideas: take what you want

These are the fallen soldiers, the ones who were left behind in my race to escape the 9 to 5… there have been many casualties. Thankfully these casualties are only ideas, some good, some bad, some down right awful but they are mine and I’ve given a great deal of thought to them so I feel like its bad thought karma to not share them with the world. Maybe one of you will be inspired and take off running with it, if you do all I ask for is when your company is making millions off my idea pay me back by buying a sticker spot on my Escalade.

  1. For the love of all things SOMEONE start making Foursquare stickers! You know how Yelp! has those pasties that go on businesses windows that say “People love us on Yelp!” why in the WORLD has no one done this for Foursquare. Why isn’t Foursquare’s business end doing this? I’d write a letter, but I’m busy blogging every day and running a start up. I’d do it myself, but I don’t know my way around a die cutter and sticky things usually get stuck in my hair. Charge $9.97 a pop and have businesses personalize them, bonus feature: Twitter stickers like the follow me on Twitter sticker I have on my computer.. only one company I’ve found makes them. Competition is key people.
  2. Triple threat protective spray. I had this idea in college and I even have a drawn out diagram somewhere. It is like mace, but 100x better because it is the strongest mace possible, laced with blue dye so the perv you mace will be easily recognizable AND when you spray the mace you also push down on the bull horn within the can to alert others you are in distress… or at a football game, whichever. But all jokes aside, I created this idea when a girl less than .5 miles from where I lived got kidnapped and murdered in Reno, I wanted other girls to be able to be safe without having to learn to fire a gun or wield a knife (note: I can do both… don’t test me)… so if you do use this, please email me so you can give a portion of your proceeds to the Brianna Denison foundation.
  3. The Adoller (adult + stroller = adoller). It is a stroller, for adults. Those who like me are too lazy to walk and miss the days that they could be pushed around and not judged. The reason this idea failed was because everyone said “Maren, they have those, they’re called wheelchairs”.
  4. A Scent card for your computer. Notice how you have speakers in your computer that allow you to listen to what others have to put out there on their various sites, now imagine you could SMELL the websites you visited. It is kind of like ‘smell-o-vision’ from Willy Wonka (the orig.) but NO i didn’t steal it. This really would be awesome if you want to sink millions into the development, someone will, someday, guarantee you!
  5. A Book called 365 Days of Starbucks. This means you have to spend 365 days straight in at least one Starbucks throughout the world, an easy feat really. I would love to take a year off, do this and write about it for a book but I can’t. Maybe you can? Think of all the experiences? Think of all the people and places you’ll see? Think of all the various dialects you’ll hear the word Venti in? Starbucks may even sponsor you, who knows.
  6. Iheart—–.com a network of websites for different hobbies, fields and interest groups. There can be,, (ew) or even (all of these URLs are free at last check). Kind of like but funkier, funner with a WAY cooler name.
  7. Selling stuff that is inherently free. I.E. air, dirt, grass, sand, bark, garbage, rocks, etc. (P.S. this isn’t totally original since there are many people who sell the above mentioned and make a killing, literally).
  8. Making a actually NON SUCKY cell phone and/or wifi network company. I know this is probably too much to hope for, but one day I know I’ll be able to do business with a phone company I don’t actively despise.
  9. Speed Networking. This has been done a little bit here and there but not the the largess I am imagining. I want it BIG like “Its Just Lunch” big but for networking. People always want to meet others, especially business people, but its hard in a new city or big metropolitan area. So take the stress out of making friends and connections, pay to go to a speed networking event, swap 60 cards, call back the people you think were interesting.
  10. A Franchise Franchise. Make an entire business based around how teaching businesses how to franchise, then franchise it. So instead of just doing consulting or one time gigs, you teach them how by running them through Franchise U. or whatever, the ABC company franchises and sells 100 franchised stores and you collect a percentage of what ABC company collects for teaching them how. Do this 10 times and you have a good business going, do this 100 times and you have an empire.

I’m running out of steam, and the ideas are getting crappier, so I’ll call it quits for today but trust me I’ll make a sequel to this list of small business ideas. It may be good, it may be bad, but it is better to let your mind wander and think of 999 bad ideas because eventually 1 will stand out as a home run winner.